I’ve never really had a problem saying No. If asked to do something I didn’t want to do, I found a way to decline, albeit not without an occasional twinge of guilt.
But my current season of No isn’t like that. In the past few weeks, and as I look ahead to the next few months, I find myself struggling to say No, even when it is evident that to say yes would stretch me in time or money. Why this sudden change? Because now the things I’m saying No to are things I want to do. People I want to be with. In each instance, I am choosing between good and better, between what I want to do now and what is good for my future, whether that future is the next day, week, month or even moment.
All of a sudden it isn’t so easy to say No, to deny myself something I desire. But in that No, I’m learning to lean more on Jesus, to trust that He won’t let me miss anything that is for my good, to discern that still small voice that directs my day to His pleasure and not my own. I still cringe a bit as I say No. And fight the urge to throw myself a pity party for what I miss. And yet in this season of No it seems God wants to teach me more about His sufficiency and the joy found in obedience.
So I’m learning to bite down my instinct to complain and bend my knee to the One I serve with all my heart. And in that submission, I appreciate the Yes moments even more.
Hang in there!! This too shall pass! And you GOTTA eat, so you know who’s turn it is to spring for lunch next time. Just message me and I’m there for when you need that quick time away.
Thanks, Marie! I so love my friends who are just a text away at the last minute! 🙂
Trading good for better can be so difficult. Often I get tripped up in the process of discerning.
Kudos to you for making hard choices.
I think that’s what I’m trying to do, Wendy–fine tune my discernment. I want to hear God’s voice in all my decisions, not just the big ones. But it can be oh-so-hard to make the “better” little choices, the ones that benefit my sanity, my spiritual well-being, and my family.
I love this post, because it hit me right where I need it. If you’d asked me a year ago if I was good at saying “no,” I’d have said of course. But like you said, it’s because I was generally saying “no” to things I wanted to say no to. Now I’m getting to the point of needing to say “no” to things I want to say “yes” too…and that’s a bummer. But I LOVED this line in your post: “choosing between good and better, between what I want to do now and what is good for my future.” That’s a great way to look at it…the “no” in the “now” might stink, but the “better” in the “future” will be, well, better. 🙂
Always glad to know I’m not alone in what God is teaching me, Melissa! So glad you and I walk this journey alongside one another–even if that “alongside” is over the internet! 🙂