Five years ago this month, we left our daughter at college in a neighboring state where she didn’t know a soul, eight hours from home and without a car.
And I didn’t bat an eye.
I knew it was time for her to venture out on her own, in a controlled kind of way. I knew she was pretty safe in a dorm full of kids all at a new place. I knew she’d make friends, eventually. And I knew her classes would occupy the majority of her days.
On Monday, we left this same girl, albeit five years older and wiser and much more mature, at her new apartment near her new school, 2000 miles from us. She’s navigating a new-to-her city without a car. Her classes will not consume all her days. And I’m not exactly sure where she’ll find those close kinds of friends like she had in college.
And I cried.
This leave-taking was a much larger leap of faith for this mama’s heart. This time we’d had 7 1/2 lovely months of getting to know the grown-up version of our girl. And this time she’s on her own–to find a job, pay her bills, navigate financial aid and the general details of life. Leaving her there alone was hard, but I take hope in believing she is in the exact place the Lord means for her to be. If I can’t trust her to Him, my faith has little substance. And so as I cried, I prayed. And I remembered that I’ll weather this part of the parenting journey from a very familiar place–on my knees.
Thinking of you and sending hugs, Anne! Although my children are still young, I know the time to let them go will be here before we know it!!
Thanks so much, Britney! I never thought the second letting go would be harder than the first time, but I guess it’s that worry that she won’t have enough to eat or get her bills paid on time–stuff we mostly made sure of during her college years! And yes, the day arrives way too quickly! Hug those kiddos and enjoy your moments (even the frustrating, chaotic ones!) with them.