Seeking Quiet Headspace

I’m struggling to find quiet headspace these days—enough quiet downtime to let me think deeply. It gets that way sometimes when we have long strings of busy days, as we have recently had. When my thoughts whirl without end, I have trouble landing on what task needs to be done next. I have a hard time concentrating on writing of any kind, including blog posts and social media. 

But I’ve noticed something recently in light of this situation: the more I seek out quiet headspace in my days, the more things ramp up within and around me. What’s up with that? 

In my daily time with Jesus, I’ve been reviewing several Psalms I’ve memorized in the past. It’s been a good exercise because, for me, meditation comes with repetition. And once again I find myself drawn over and over to Psalm 23. 

A few years ago, this Psalm dug deep into my soul after reading and discussing Dallas Willard’s Life Without Lack. “I shall not want” took on new meaning in my life. Not only do I have the assurance from Psalm 23 that “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want (or lack),” I have memorized another Psalm that tells me the same thing. 

Right now I feel the “want” of quietness and solitude. I feel its lack. I am seeking after it. But is that right? The above verse convicts me: “they who seek THE LORD (my emphasis) shall not be in want of any good thing.” Seek the Lord, not the thing. Perhaps that is why my struggle toward quiet headspace is continually thwarted.

Perhaps I need to trust the Lord to get me through this moment until He gives me a quiet place, not try to find or take it for myself.  

This is not an easy thing for me to see or say or live out. But if I see it as truth in the Word of God, if I see it as being conformed to the image of Christ by learning to “do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others,” (Philippians 2:3-4) then I must take heed.  

Could it be that my desire for quiet solitude is, at this moment, selfish? That it is me putting my interests above others in my life? Very likely. Will God ever allow me to have quiet headspace to regroup? Also very likely, but perhaps not in my timeframe. 

I’m grateful for years of God showing Himself faithful to not only provide what I need when I need it but to sustain me until He provides. And I’m grateful for the light of the Word that shines into my life to expose shadowy places that have crept in.

I wish I had some quiet headspace right now. But I will once again lean into Christ and trust His strength to see me through until that moment. 

What is the Lord teaching you these days?